Last month an email came out from my working place’s leadership announcing a US dollars bonus well into the five digits for whoever closed an AI related sale. I’m not gonna tell who it is, but that’s irrelevant. Everyone and their mother that sells AI is doing the same thing.

Why? Because it’s all a huge scam and everyone is a mark. You see, when ChatGPT came out, a lot of executives fell for that fucking parlor trick and concluded that they were caught with their pants down and are now overreacting because they fell that if they can’t answer what’s their AI strategy they’ll look like fools. This has set off a chain reaction that sort of looks like this.

• ChatGPT comes out. Dumbass executives fall for the parlor trick that this glorified auto complete is and think they’re looking at a real life HAL-9000.
• One microsecond later, these same executives realize that all the other dumbass executives are thinking the same thing and that they need to get on this before the others do.
• Another microsecond later, these same self promoting assholes realize they should go to their bosses and sell this as a brand new source of revenue growth.
• An hour later, after listening to their dumbass underlings, CEOs all over the planet decide that if they don’t have an answer for “are we AI ready?”, they’ll look like fools. A directive comes to all other underlings to make AI THE PRIORITY of the business and that they should find problems for this solution.
• Sam Altman, master bullshitter and grifter, is more than happy to promise these CEOs all sorts of things that AI can be used for. Mainly, how it will be so much more costly to not be part of this revolution than being cautious.
• NVIDIA knows building these glorified autocompletes will be a bonanza for their company. Of course they’re going to hype up Altman’s bullshit as well and feed the notion that everyone needs to get in on this. The more marks, the more GPU’s they can sell.
• But wait, we need power to run these fucking GPU’s! Power companies start salivating at the prospect of building plants and charging for the power that these bullshit generators require and of course they also glorify AI.
• Now everyone in this chain is reinforcing each other promoting AI which is how you end up with AI all the time in all commercials in all media. Advertisers are thrilled.

Anyway, if you enjoy being the mark of a scam, go ahead and buy that AI solution. Preferably from me. I want to buy a boat with that five digit bonus.